Haunt Review: House of Shock
The House of Shock is something of a legend in the New Orleans area. It is a haunted attraction that has earned itself a reputation the likes of most haunts can only dream of. If the rumors are true, both the city of New Orleans and neighboring Jefferson Parish have tried repeatedly to shut the haunt down, using every legal trick to do so. Some even think God himself is out to get the haunt, Hurricane Katrina having flooded it (along with most of the city), forcing them to close for the 2005 season. However, they reopened in 2006 and haven’t missed a year since, despite the obstacles, alleged and confirmed.
The HoS is known mostly for two things. First is its elaborate and eyebrow-singing stage show with pyrotechnics, the second is its use of satanic imagery and “shock” value to scare customers.
It too makes repeated appearances in “top ten” lists of U.S. haunts and it has a nation-wide reputation that is known across the country among haunt lovers. But is the notoriety of the haunt deserved? Read on to find out.
Haunt Review: Chamber of Horrors (2009)
Last year I reviewed the Chamber of Horrors and gave it an 8/10. This is the reason I am usually loathe to give numeric scores. Though it was a great haunt in 2008, I’m realizing in 2009 that it wasn’t quite an 8. I was too excited to find that kind of haunt in the New Orleans area again and didn’t grade fairly. It should have been a strong six, maybe a weak seven.
But where the Chamber of Horrors, last year, was a good haunt with some minor flaws, this year it is just a flat out good haunt without any caveats or precautions. Though it is not an event haunt, like House of Shock or 13th Gate, both of which I am reviewing later (I’m doing them in the order I visited them), it is a solid haunt that fills the niche of a smaller, more casual haunted attraction nicely. It is a perfect example of what a good mid-range haunt should be like and it deserves more recognition than what it gets.
This isn’t to say that the CoH is flawless, every haunt has room to grow, but it is a well-rounded attraction that has addressed its weaknesses and emerged stronger and better for it. Read more
Mardi Gras 2009: Wrap Up
  photo credit: Toast to Life |
Mardi Gras 2009 is over. At 12:01 AM this morning local time, the police swept Bourbon St., shutting down the celebrations and bringing on the coming of Ash Wednesday. Another Mardi Gras is in the books.
Some people asked what I thought of this year’s Mardi Gras, unfortunately though, I don’t have a lot to say about it. I was sick the entire week before and most of the weekend before too. My revelry was limited to a bit on Sunday and Monday evening and most of the day Tuesday. I wasn’t able to go to any of my favorite parades, save Krewe Du Vieux early in the season, and it really feels like I missed most of this year and I don’t even have any pictures to share (be thankful for Photodropper).
Which, unfortunately, is a terrible shame. It was a very good Mardi Gras. In my estimation, it was the first Mardi Gras since Katrina that felt like the holiday was “back”. The 2006 one was a very bittersweet one, largely for the locals and the workers rebuilding the city. The 2007 one was still too early after Katrina. 2008 was just too early in the year (early Mardi Gras are always more tame) and this was the first time the city has both healed enough and has had a good date to work with.
On that front, 2010 looks very promising, with a mid-February date and 2011 even more so, with an early March date. I think we’re poised for a good run of Mardi Gras years coming up. Read more
Mardi Gras Monday: Beads
 photo credit: DoctorWho |
Truthfully, I’ve been loathing this article. Keeping this site-family friendly and discussing an item so rightfully associated with very adult activity is a challenge.
So, rather than discuss what one does with them, which is a very personal choice, I’m going to talk about what they are and where you can get them. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.
So this brings us around to the main question: What are beads? Beads are strands of cheap plastic spheres and shapes strung around a thin cord. They come in all colors and are typically worn during carnival season that you can find them pretty much year-around on weekends in the French Quarter.
So where do you get them and how do you know which are the best? Those questions aren’t nearly as simple. Read more
Mardi Gras Monday: Sleeping and Parking
 photo credit: mil8 |
This is part of an ongoing series of Mardi Gras-related posts. You can follow the rest of the posts here.
If you’re visiting New Orleans for Mardi Gras, you’re going to face two challenges, finding a place to stay and finding a place to park.
It may not be the most pleasant things to think about when visiting New Orleans, but if you don’t put some planning into them your time here is going to be ruined and they are two very easy things to mess up.
The problem is pretty simple. Though New Orleans is a tourist town, Mardi Gras is the absolute peak of its season. Though the entire time between Halloween and Fat Tuesday is active in general, in the last weeks, the city gets slammed. Hotels fill up quickly and parking, already scarce in the city as it is an older one (much of it laid out before automobiles), becomes prized.
So how do you overcome these obstacles? There are a lot of ways, but here are some of my tips. Read more
Mardi Gras Monday: Food
 photo credit: Photo Mojo |
This is part of an ongoing series of Mardi Gras-related posts. You can follow the rest of the posts here.
Granted, food is not the most common thing that people associate with Mardi Gras, but New Orleans truly is a city that cherishes its cuisine and, as a result, there is a great deal of food that goes with the holiday.
However, the food of Mardi Gras, and of New Orleans in general, can seem a bit odd to people not from the region. Though those from Louisiana, especially the southern part of the state, make this kind of cooking a part of their daily lives, it’s going to seem a bit odd to those who are just visiting.
So what kind of food should you been on the lookout for or try when you’re in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Here are some of my picks. Read more
Mardi Gras Monday: Parades
 photo credit: Toast to Life |
This is part of an ongoing series of Mardi Gras-related posts. You can follow the rest of the posts here.
Parades are one of the most overlooked parts of Mardi Gras. Since they don’t (for the most part) take place in the French Quarter these days (due to the combination of large floats and narrow streets) many outside of the region even forget that they are a big part of the festivities.
However, locals and die-hard Mardi Gras fans never forget it. Every Mardi Gras comes with over 50 parades in the region, most of them in the immediate greater New Orleans (GNO) area. They range in size and include such famous Krewes as Rex, Zulu, Morpheus, Orpheus and Endymnion.
With the parade schedule about to start in earnest for the 2009 year, I felt it worthwhile to go over some general tips and tricks beyond the ones you find in most parade maps and calendars.
If you want to enjoy parades like a local, here is what you need to know. Read more
Mardi Gras Monday: Bourbon Balconies
 photo credit: Lyndi&Jason |
Note: This is the first in a series of weekly columns about Mardi Gras. Between now and Lundi Gras, we’ll be covering some of the basics of Mardi Gras, including tips, tricks and suggestions from a local on how to survive Carnival in New Orleans. I’m trying to keep this series as family friendly and as broad as possible, since many people come to Mardi Gras for many different reasons, I want this to serve everyone’s needs.
There are a lot of “B” words that come to mind when one things of Bourbon St. Beads, beer, breasts, bars and booze name just a few. However, “balcony” is the only one that is part of the Bourbon St. architecture.
As you walk up and down the street, balconies literally line the road on both sides, as they do with much of the French Quarter. Apartments have them, bars have them, stores have them, hotels have them and nearly every establishment on the street has at least one.
During Mardi Gras time, these balconies become centers of activity. Revelers, not wanting to be in the crowd below, fill them to capacity. They participate by throwing beads and watching the party below. It comes with an air of exclusivity and it’s a chance to drink and have fun without being jostled by the crowd below.
But is it worth it and how does one get the most out of their balcony experience? The answers are below. Read more
How to Scare People: A Practical Guide
I’m no expert on the psychology of fear. I know what it’s like to be afraid, I know what gets my blood going and I know how to scare others, that’s really the extent of my scientific knowledge.
That being said, I have a surprising amount of experience scaring the Hell out of people. In addition to being a generally “creepy dude” I’ve been through dozens of haunted houses, worked in one professional one and operated my own haunt, either on my own or with my family, for over a dozen years.
Usually though, when others find out I run my own haunted house, the first question I get asked isn’t “Can I come?” or “How can I help?” but, rather, “Got any ideas for my house?”
What people usually want are tips and tricks for scaring the the urine right out of their trick or treaters. But while it is brain-dead easy to relay some of my favorite tricks I’ve learned from experience and fellow haunters, it is much more effective to learn what actually scares people inside a haunted house and how you can apply that to your front porch.
As such, I’ve developed a set of simple rules that can help anyone, regardless of budget or time, can scare the pants off just about anyone. Read more
Cone of Stupidity
If you live in New Orleans or any place else along a cost potentially impacted by tropical storms, you need no definition for what the forecasters call the “Cone of Uncertainty”.
For those who have never had the good fortune of a rushed evacuation from the latest “Mother of All Storms” allow me to take a moment and explain.
When a hurricane or other tropical storm is out in the ocean, the nice people at the National Hurricane Center do their best to try and predict where it is going to go. They use all kinds of computer models, forecasts, voodoo magic and dart throwing to come up with a forecasted track, meaning line.
They try to predict where the storm will be in roughly five days and make the best guess they can. However, they admit they aren’t very good at this and that nature has a way of making them look like idiots. So, they hedge their best some and create what they call a “Cone of Uncertainty” that goes out from either side of the track.
Since they are pretty good at the 12-24 hour range, the cone starts off very narrow but, by day 5, grows to approximately 350 miles on either side, meaning 700 miles across.
Now, that really isn’t that bad. If you’re within 350 miles of a big hurricane, you’re going to feel it. So anyone within the cone should be paying really close attention. At worst, the storm could make it personal and hit them directly, at best they’ll need to reschedule their boat race and bar-b-que.
Useful it may be at times, I’ve undertaken the decision to, in my household, rename this aforementioned cone the “Cone of Stupidity”. Why? I’ll explain. Read more
