Haunt Review: The 13th Gate

Whenever you read a top ten list for haunted houses in the U.S., there is approximately a 95% chance that the 13th Gate will be on that list and a better than 50% chance it will be number 1.

It is for a very damn good reason.

The 13th Gate is the quintessential event haunt. It’s the top tier of haunted attractions, a large, expensive production that everyone feels they have to go to at least once. It’s a haunted house known by those who don’t even care about haunted houses and one such people regularly attend. It’s the kind of place that always has a long line out the door and draws people from all over the country, if not the world.

However, this is not an unearned reputation. Midnight Productions, the makers of the 13th Gate, have turned Baton Rouge in the haunt capital of southeast Louisiana, if not the entire country, and it does everything to ensure that it keeps that reputation intact, making it the best haunted attraction possible.

But how good is it? Read on to find out. Read more

Haunt Review: Terror in the Park (Buhlow Fun Park)

I feel bad for haunted house lovers in central Louisiana. Southern Louisiana is one of the most blessed regions for haunt fans with the 13th Gate, House of Shock and The Mortuary all within about 90 minutes of each other. However, once you go north of Lafayette, things become rather dead until you make it to Shreveport or Monroe (and even then it seems to be dicey).

Louisiana Nightmares was a solid haunt in Alexandria operated by Midnight Productions, the same people who do the 13th Gate, but they closed it down to focus on the larger Baton Rouge attraction. Sadly, nothing has risen to fill its void, though the Buhlow Fun Park (do NOT click that link, may cause cancer of the eyes) seems to have made a play to capture its customers.

For those who don’t know, which I imagine to be most of the people reading this, the Buhlow Fun Park is a basic fun park on Buhlow lake outside of Alexandria, Louisiana. It has go-carts, an arcade, mini golf and a place to get your picture taken with The Simpsons among other attractions. However, every October it also opens up its “Terror in the Park” haunted house, which the signs assure us it is a “A Real Haunted House”.

I visited the Buhlow Fun Park haunt two years ago and came away with a mixed impression. Though it was short and low-budget, I had to respect their creativity and imagination. They did a lot of great work with what they had. My review, if I had written one, would have been a 5 out of 10 with a tag line “A less-than-average haunt displays some above-average ingenuity to become a mediocre attraction that’s still respectable.”

However, in the two years since something has changed. The creativity is gone and what is left is a disappointing haunt experience that no longer redeems itself in any significant way. Read more

Haunt Review: Chamber of Horrors (2009)

Last year I reviewed the Chamber of Horrors and gave it an 8/10. This is the reason I am usually loathe to give numeric scores. Though it was a great haunt in 2008, I’m realizing in 2009 that it wasn’t quite an 8. I was too excited to find that kind of haunt in the New Orleans area again and didn’t grade fairly. It should have been a strong six, maybe a weak seven.

But where the Chamber of Horrors, last year, was a good haunt with some minor flaws, this year it is just a flat out good haunt without any caveats or precautions. Though it is not an event haunt, like House of Shock or 13th Gate, both of which I am reviewing later (I’m doing them in the order I visited them), it is a solid haunt that fills the niche of a smaller, more casual haunted attraction nicely. It is a perfect example of what a good mid-range haunt should be like and it deserves more recognition than what it gets.

This isn’t to say that the CoH is flawless, every haunt has room to grow, but it is a well-rounded attraction that has addressed its weaknesses and emerged stronger and better for it. Read more

7 Tips for Enjoying a Haunted House

photo credit: darkpatator

For many, it is a tradition to head to a haunted attraction sometime near Halloween. For us, the scare of going the a haunt is just part of the spooky season much the same as looking at lights is part of the Christmas one.

But haunts can be expensive. High-end attractions charge $20 or more per ticket and even “budget” haunts routinely charge $10 or more. This prices them higher than a trip to the movies and most nightclubs in terms of entertainment expense.

Yet, the way some people go through a haunt, they seem to sabotage their own chances of actually having a good time. They essentially throw away their ticket price and some then complain that the haunt was a waste of money.

If you don’t know how to go through a haunt, even the best attraction will be a waste of cash. As a serial haunt attendee, haunt actor and haunt operator, here are my tips for getting your money’s worth. Read more

Saving Money at Halloween

I was in Wal-Mart the other day (please don’t ask) and decided to take a look at their Halloween section. Though I usually don’t have high expectations of these “big box” retailers when it comes to Halloween, I feel obligated to check and, sometimes at least, they do have some interesting stuff.

My wife and I began to look through the costume section. As we get closer in to opening our haunt (we open Halloween night), we are realizing we need some outfits to go with our Asylum theme and a few sets of scrubs are high on the list.

In the Halloween section we saw a set of costume scrubs for sixteen dollars. While that may not sound like a bad deal and is actually very cheap for a Halloween costume, the problem is that just 100 feet away Wal-Mart had a collection of real scrubs for just ten dollars.

The problem didn’t end there. You could buy a fake plastic broom for eight dollars or go to the cleaning section and get a real one for three or four. Likewise, you could by a “costume” sword for about six dollars but “toy” ones in the toy section were just two or three.

Everything in the Halloween section is marked up to insane amounts just because the the price tag is in orange and black. This is a huge headache for parents, who are buying something their kids will wear exactly once, home haunters, who have tight budgets, and even professional haunted houses.

So if you want to survive Halloween without breaking the bank, here are a few ways to cut corners and avoid getting gouged this haunting season. Read more

How to Scare People: A Practical Guide

I’m no expert on the psychology of fear. I know what it’s like to be afraid, I know what gets my blood going and I know how to scare others, that’s really the extent of my scientific knowledge.

That being said, I have a surprising amount of experience scaring the Hell out of people. In addition to being a generally “creepy dude” I’ve been through dozens of haunted houses, worked in one professional one and operated my own haunt, either on my own or with my family, for over a dozen years.

Usually though, when others find out I run my own haunted house, the first question I get asked isn’t “Can I come?” or “How can I help?” but, rather, “Got any ideas for my house?”

What people usually want are tips and tricks for scaring the the urine right out of their trick or treaters. But while it is brain-dead easy to relay some of my favorite tricks I’ve learned from experience and fellow haunters, it is much more effective to learn what actually scares people inside a haunted house and how you can apply that to your front porch.

As such, I’ve developed a set of simple rules that can help anyone, regardless of budget or time, can scare the pants off just about anyone. Read more